Everything I'm not made me everything I am.

It's a weird thought that the things that don't define you actually are the things that ultimately make you the person you are.

I'm not wealthy: I think most people would be crazy if they didn't want to have everything they could ever desire. However, I've had to work for absolutely everything I have now, and am content with a lot less than the norm.

I'm not non-judgmental: it's made me more humble when I've been wrong.

I'm not cautious with my words: it's taught me to think more about what I say.

I'm not incredibly open with my feelings: it's forced me to communicate better.

I'm not musically diverse: it's made me extremely specialized and well equipped to handle my urban clients and my work in the hip hop market.

I'm not overly competitive: it's saved me from a lot of disappointment from perceived failure.

I'm not perfect: it's made me rely on God, family, and friends.

I'm not a sell-out: it's helped me persevere through tough choices, difficult people, and life changes.

I'm not a kind, wise, or brave person: I've had to pray for all of these things, and it's made me realize just how much I'm not really the focus of this life, how it's not all about me, and how much I fall short from the type of person I would like to be.

I'm happy with how I've grown up and how I'm continuing to (hopefully) evolve, and I expect to keep learning more about myself. I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin, and I like it.

People are seasons.

Something quite simple has been on my mind the past couple of weeks and I don't really know what to do with it.

I hate that the people I love come and go in my life without any rhyme or reason, without prediction, without always leaving an imprint.

I've gone through knowing so many different people in my life that filled a need at one point in time that I don't really speak to anymore, people that are not physically present but always on my mind, and those that are ever-present that make life worth living.

In the past year I've lost friends that maybe didn't need to be in my life, that turned their back on me when I decided to make positive changes in my life--changes that made me a better person today. Professional, intimate, and almost family-like relationships that I don't really forsee being mended.

On the other hand, others have been brought into my life that have nurtured growth, provided kindness and overwhelming love that filled those old voids.

Then there's those that are always a phone call away, whether that's once a week or once every seven months. It's comforting to know that they're there.

Some are gone completely that I won't be able to see again--not in this lifetime at least. I miss them. I can't explain how much I've wanted to talk to my grandfather in past couple of years, to hang out with Lacie and Tommy, or to fist-bump James.

I feel comfort in knowing that while some may be gone, they're never forgotten, and maybe they taught me something along the way.

And to the ones that have stuck around--well, you should know that you're appreciated and I'll do anything I can for you.

The cycle of hurt, hanging out, family and friends, healing and growth, is so strange and baffling. It's difficult to see how people have affected you along the way. If you wanna know how you've affected me, you should probably ask. I'd love to tell you.

So maybe I don't hate not being able to predict who's going to be in my life at any particular time. Because people always show up when they're needed, and a new season begins.

I don't think I could rock an eye patch.

So, there are times in my life where I have done all the right things and still gotten hosed.

Tonight could have been one of those times.

I was sitting outside my house with my roommates and saw that Scott had a new tattoo. It was an anchor.

I asked him what it meant, he made me promise not to make fun of him.

While his story was a little corny, I bit my tongue and said, "Oh.... that's nice."

I turn around to look at my cats standing in front of the screen door and turn back towards Scott only to find a cigarette in my eye.

Almost burned it completely, but somehow I walked away without a burn on me. My eye was still intact.

It was an accident, but I almost lost an eye tonight--for keeping my word.

Isn't it funny how that works out sometimes? Just further proof that accidents happen that can change your life instantly. Glad mine didn't change too much because of a stupid joke and bad luck. I forgive you Scott... just don't get too close.

By the way, rent is $100 more this month.